‘Enlightening Conversations’ - Counselling
Isolation from friends, colleagues and extended family can be detrimental to our mental health and wellbeing. Add this to financial and mortgage strain, possible job loss, home schooling and maintaining relationships, it’s no wonder we are all feeling more stressed than ever. I spoke to Erica Rundle from She Counselling for advice on how we can all look after our mental health during this time.
What is your top advice for maintaining calm during extended time in isolation?
Review and lower your expectations around what ‘should’ be done in a day (cleaning, working, home schooling etc). Creating realistic plans and goals will help keep everyone in the home calm.
Take one day at a time. Worrying about the future won’t change anything except compound any stress or anxiety you may be experiencing. Take informed action only and try to leave the panic behind.
Maintain social connections as much as possible. Write letters or emails. Pop notes in your neighbours letterboxes as you get your daily exercise. Chat to loved ones on Messenger, Skype or Zoom. Join online groups of people with similar interests to you.
Have some alone time every day - even if it is only a small amount of time. Being at home 24/7 can create ‘pressure cooker’ situations so releasing frustration is important.5. Be optimistic about the future. We don’t have to ‘fake’ happiness. We are allowed to feel what we feel but maintaining hope for better days ahead will see us through this particularly tough time.
What are your top tips to stay mentally strong for my family?
Show yourself some compassion. You ARE doing your best with what you’re dealing with. No matter what fear, anxiety or stress are telling you.
Have an outlet for your heavy feelings. This might be a daily checkin with a friend, writing in a journal or going for a long walk at the end of the day.
Take small steps towards your post Covid-19 life every day. This includes things like upskilling in preparation for a return to work, researching dream holidays destinations for the years to come, planning that family reunion or anything really that connects you with the wonderful life waiting for you post Covid.
Have you got any suggestions for helping kids through this time?
I generally recommend the following to my clients;
Limit the amount of news your child is exposed to
Give them age appropriate information
Allow them the freedom to ‘mourn’ their old life. They too will be sad they can’t see their friends or go to their sports games.
Connect with them daily - ask questions about how they are feeling. Validate their emotions by sharing some of your own. Doing this bridges the gap between child and parent.
Maintain a routine - or don’t! Whatever works best for your family. Tune in to what works, do more of it and ditch the rest. Remember each family has its own unique ways of doing things! Your children will be calm if you are calm so allow that concept to guide you in your decision making.
Cut the kids some slack. Not on manners and other expected behaviours but on things that don’t really matter in the long run. These could be relaxing their need to get dressed by 8am, letting them have an extra 10 minutes on the iPad or even letting them stay up a little bit later to read more stories at the end of the day. Flexibility will save their sanity and yours!
What can we do to help others in our community during this time?
Kindness and compassion are what will get us through this crisis. We need to be thinking ‘we’ not ‘me’ because helping others in turn helps us. Here are some examples of how you could help;
Shopping for a neighbour
Making an extra meal and popping it at your neighbour’s door
Buy what you need and leave supplies for others
Phone a friend who you think may be struggling with isolation
Making phone calls for someone who perhaps can’t
Donate to your favourite charity
Supporting small business where you can
Grow some veggies at home and share them with your community (safely!)
Share available resources with others particularly those that are scarce
Adhere to all isolation and quarantine restrictions to help save lives!